I am really xxxxxxxxxxxxx'd off with OH who was an absolute pig this morning. So I am having a tough time - I'm restricted and needing to rest at least for the next week or I'll just have a set back again (like I did last week when feeling better and then did too much). Torn muscle in my side. Right at the start I thought - I'm going to have to get someone in to help. OH was adamant this wasn't necessary and he could do things and would have more time at home at the moment and less work to do. Well he was very helpful the first week. Looks like he's got bored with that now.
To be fair he's been doing a lot of paperwork and needs to get his VAT sent off today. But I have been sitting here worrying about everything that needs doing and unable to do it, and Christmas rapidly approaching. I waited a few days as he has been doing his VAT work. It's getting to me sitting doing nothing when so much needs doing and hard to have the willpower not to try and do too much. So it's getting me frustrated. This morning I said to him - I'm going to need some help with a few things (which he knows) - not today he said - it's the only dry day. I accepted that but said well maybe if you have a bit of time later we could just start steam cleaning the sofa cushions. Well he came out with a load of nastiness and said there's nothing wrong with them and they don't need doing and I'm making a fuss about nothing. At which I got upset and angry and said he was being a sexist pig and he said he would help with things and these are things I need help with. This turned into an argument which is the last thing I need as tension pulls the muscle and makes everything worse again. So then I got upset I'd got tense.
He has been really good and helpful recently - but today he was horrible. I guess it was just the wrong moment but he was horrible and dismissive and started criticising. Logically I know it's boring when the other person is unwell - and the less I do things, the more independent he gets doing his own thing.
Best bit is - he wants me to help him do his VAT online today, and I said yes that's fine. Then he said all that stuff so I said xxxxx off and do your own VAT then. Ok I was upset and angry but that just made him get hurtful and critical.
Don't know what's got into him this morning but I suspect he's been talking to brother and planning his day's work. He should have said last night that he would have a busy day today as it's the only dry day. He probably didn't know last night - he's probably had a phone call from brother this morning and that's put him under pressure. Anyway I'm not making excuses for him but he is not being helpful and right now I don't even want him helping me with things if he's got that attitude.
What needs doing is boring - hoovering, tidying up a corner of the room and steam cleaning the sofa cushions to get rid of the smell - which is not a big job - probably only take 15 to 20 minutes. But it's boring.
On top of that there is no food in the house. Well there is but nothing for a main meal. He went to the shop yesterday but came back without half the stuff. And he's making a big fuss about the cost of food at the moment as well and how he doesn't like ready meals. Well yes but we have to eat! And I can't cook at the moment. He's just living on baked potatoes and snacks.
I think I'll do an online order and get things I want to eat that don't need a lot of preparing. It's tough when you're older and have no family to come over and help! So maybe I do need a cleaner after all. If OH is going to be unreliable and unhelpful. He is doing the washing up.
He's also in a bad mood because it's cold and the central heating clock stopped working. It's stuck permanently on - which is better than being permanently off - it just means it has to be manually turned on and off by turning the thermostat up and down. He can't quite get his head round that so didn't bother to turn it on last night. There's a separate heater upstairs so it's just him getting cold downstairs in the mornings. All he has to do is turn the dial! And is dismissing I need to get someone out to fix that as well.
The thing is I have dealt with Goddam everything for years and he has no idea how much needs doing to keep life ticking over. He wouldn't care if the house wasn't clean. But when I'm unwell I want to feel comfortable and relaxed and not surrounded by a load of untidy stuff or cleaning that needs doing. And there's the Christmas tree to put up as well. He just dismisses that too and says oh xxxx Christmas.
I feel like I'm living in a bachelor zone. And on top of that I'm fed up at being in pain and having to sleep on my back and just want some sympathy. Looks like I'm not going to get that from OH.
To be fair he's been doing a lot of paperwork and needs to get his VAT sent off today. But I have been sitting here worrying about everything that needs doing and unable to do it, and Christmas rapidly approaching. I waited a few days as he has been doing his VAT work. It's getting to me sitting doing nothing when so much needs doing and hard to have the willpower not to try and do too much. So it's getting me frustrated. This morning I said to him - I'm going to need some help with a few things (which he knows) - not today he said - it's the only dry day. I accepted that but said well maybe if you have a bit of time later we could just start steam cleaning the sofa cushions. Well he came out with a load of nastiness and said there's nothing wrong with them and they don't need doing and I'm making a fuss about nothing. At which I got upset and angry and said he was being a sexist pig and he said he would help with things and these are things I need help with. This turned into an argument which is the last thing I need as tension pulls the muscle and makes everything worse again. So then I got upset I'd got tense.
He has been really good and helpful recently - but today he was horrible. I guess it was just the wrong moment but he was horrible and dismissive and started criticising. Logically I know it's boring when the other person is unwell - and the less I do things, the more independent he gets doing his own thing.
Best bit is - he wants me to help him do his VAT online today, and I said yes that's fine. Then he said all that stuff so I said xxxxx off and do your own VAT then. Ok I was upset and angry but that just made him get hurtful and critical.
Don't know what's got into him this morning but I suspect he's been talking to brother and planning his day's work. He should have said last night that he would have a busy day today as it's the only dry day. He probably didn't know last night - he's probably had a phone call from brother this morning and that's put him under pressure. Anyway I'm not making excuses for him but he is not being helpful and right now I don't even want him helping me with things if he's got that attitude.
What needs doing is boring - hoovering, tidying up a corner of the room and steam cleaning the sofa cushions to get rid of the smell - which is not a big job - probably only take 15 to 20 minutes. But it's boring.
On top of that there is no food in the house. Well there is but nothing for a main meal. He went to the shop yesterday but came back without half the stuff. And he's making a big fuss about the cost of food at the moment as well and how he doesn't like ready meals. Well yes but we have to eat! And I can't cook at the moment. He's just living on baked potatoes and snacks.
I think I'll do an online order and get things I want to eat that don't need a lot of preparing. It's tough when you're older and have no family to come over and help! So maybe I do need a cleaner after all. If OH is going to be unreliable and unhelpful. He is doing the washing up.
He's also in a bad mood because it's cold and the central heating clock stopped working. It's stuck permanently on - which is better than being permanently off - it just means it has to be manually turned on and off by turning the thermostat up and down. He can't quite get his head round that so didn't bother to turn it on last night. There's a separate heater upstairs so it's just him getting cold downstairs in the mornings. All he has to do is turn the dial! And is dismissing I need to get someone out to fix that as well.
The thing is I have dealt with Goddam everything for years and he has no idea how much needs doing to keep life ticking over. He wouldn't care if the house wasn't clean. But when I'm unwell I want to feel comfortable and relaxed and not surrounded by a load of untidy stuff or cleaning that needs doing. And there's the Christmas tree to put up as well. He just dismisses that too and says oh xxxx Christmas.
I feel like I'm living in a bachelor zone. And on top of that I'm fed up at being in pain and having to sleep on my back and just want some sympathy. Looks like I'm not going to get that from OH.
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