WHEN will the constant attention seeking stop?!

You know some of my history and it hasn’t been easy. I am sorry you are going through some difficulties.
Sadly the exs don’t want to loose their hold on their ex husbands and they manipulate, the guilt trip them and use children as a weapon.

Many of our partners are guilted for moving on. Before I wasn’t aware of it, so it was a total shock for me and H and I fought like crazy over this. I just couldn’t understand. My exh was not at all like this. It was either mutual respect or nothing.

When I read they bfh would with 4-5 days before answering and than coming up with something insulting and outrageous, I remembered it was the same in my case.
My H actually said that he would never leave her homeless if she would return from Switzerland and would make sure she wasn’t homeless and could live in his apartment. He also said when I complained about her, to shut up, telling me he has known her for 20 yrs and only 1 yr me.

Crazy things, we also went to see a therapist that told him that he is treating his ex as his wife. His comment was that he feels responsible for her and the therapist told him that the status of ex wire doesn’t exist and he is in no way responsible. She continued that if he really feels that way he should be fair to me and divorce me, because he is more married to his ex than me.

We went home in silence. This craziness went on for at least 4 to 5 yrs and than some.

Mil was also responsible for his thinking, she told him that the mother of his children is the one he is responsible for and I f. O.. She told me to divorce her son.
I see the same things happening you and others on here.
She apologized to me just maybe 2 yrs before she died.
In this last lawsuit his sister went after me. She told me H doesn’t love and will divorce me. They wanted to get rid of me. He was thorn between his family and our family and agin lost his way. In the end they sued him and he will never forgive them. It was nasty, but something had to open his eyes. He went into crisis mode again and I had to pull out.
Right now we are ok, good, finally taking some time off.

I cannot deny we went through very difficult times, H could be difficult to be polite.
But undeniably we had some great times. Most of it is ordinary life.
After almost 17 yrs together we know we are family. Me and H are very different and don’t agree in many respects, but I found where we do click, so I do more of that, meaning I changed too.
It does get easier with time.