Tips with teenagers please :-)

Esme

Esme

Administrator
Staff member
Any tips you can think of! Anyone who has, or has had teens. I know they can be moody and I know they like more independence and are more interested in friends than adult/parental relationships (to a degree). But how do you keep interaction? And how do you know what to organise, when one week they say they want this and the next week they've changed their minds completely?!
 
If someone had the answer to this question they would be very rich! Teenagers are a hostile planet and you must tread very carefully!
I have found with my teenage son is he wants to be treated equally. He thinks hes an adult. He is a young adult. He thinks I am stupid! I may well be stupid sometimes but I am also wiser than he is. If I try to speak to him on an adult level he responds. I have pointed out that some of his behaviours will not get him the outcome he expects. He took it on board. Honesty and calmness actually do go a long way x
 
I had the same experience with SSs and my DDs. I have to keep calm, be curious rather than disagreeable and take into account that sometimes they will stay moody, they might think they know everything and the last label I got was “older generation, well meaning, but cannot understand the new world”.
I was upset and had to hide it, because we went out for dinner with our entire family.
It was YSS who came here from Switzerland and the last thing I wanted to do was go further on the topic. It was pointless.
It bothered me for a day and a half, then I just forgot.
All I saw was my uptight face on the pictures we took.
What I am trying to say is that teens are a challenge, even after they reach their 20’s, they are still way too “smart” for us old fashioned people. In their 30s, real life and responsibilities come up and they reconnect on a different level, needing support and a friendly face to talk to.
Things change all the time.
 
Thanks both! I've adopted the laid back attitude in recent months so don't react to anything. Rudeness gets a laugh or a raised eyebrow or agreeing with him whatever it is he's talking about. Sometimes though he comes out with such contrary xxxxx that you have to try and give some guidance - like - well I see your point, but there's a reason for safety rules - so people can enjoy these things without disasters. I think he listens sometimes but does seem to have this attitude that he's immune from danger. It's the same with both of us, but whereas he will listen to OH he won't take anything from me these days. I stick to cooking meals.

I miss it when they needed you to fix everything.
 
Absolutely, the world is such a lovely place when children need us to love and nurture them. Teenage attitudes are a real challenge. My son also thinks he is invincible. As they say youth is wasted on the young! So true but we were there once. I can see myself right there at 17 without a real care in the world. And its where they should be. My son lacks direction. I worry about that but I know I have to give him however much time and space he needs. The good thing is that we obviously care. And they do know that we are there for them in a real crisis x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top