Kitchens

[Esme]

Our kitchen is horrible. The worktops badly need replacing and everything else is getting tatty. I've been round in circles trying to avoid the need for a new kitchen (which we can't afford anyway). I start off with thinking - just replace the worktops. That then leads to - it will then need a different sink as there is no way the old sink will go back in a new worktop as it wasn't fitted properly in the first place and half the clips are missing (OH diy). Then you have to find a sink that will fit in a 50cm cupboard and most of them need a 60cm cupboard., Then you need different taps to go with it. And it all starts to add up and I think - why spend all that when the cupboards are a) tatty and b) not the right storage solutions anyway.

I've been going round in circles with this for about 2 or 3 years on and off. It annoys me putting up with it (and the worktops are embarrassing). I think even if OH suddenly found a shed load of money and said lets get a whole new kitchen, I still wouldn't be that excited about it, because it's hassle and the rest of the house needs work as well. And really I'd just like to move house to something smart that doesn't need any work. For various reasons.

So what have you done? Tidied up an old kitchen? Forked out for a new one? Currently I'm thinking of moving the table and chairs to a different room and getting a freestanding larder cupboard, so there's more storage space (and less bending) - which is one thing that annoys me about the kitchen - not enough cupboard space and bending into cupboards to reach things at the back. But then the worktops still need replacing.....

 

[Maya]

Kitchen is the central part of the home, so definitely remodel if you can afford it. I am sure you can get a deal with monthly payments and make things more manageable. If you don’t like the way your home looks, one feels bad and uncomfortable.
I still like my kitchen for now, find it functional and in pretty good shape. My upgrade would just be changing two doors, otherwise it works for me. And definitely painting the place gives you a completely different feel.
It doesn’t have to be expensive, but even if you do move and sell the house, everyone always looks at the kitchen, the cleanness of the place (new paint) and the bathrooms. You can get so much more for the property with a little investment like kitchen and paint.

My opinion, just do it. You spend a lot of time there and it should absolutely work for you.

As a cheaper option you can replace the doors, the tops, sink, you can even get a used one in good shape, maybe, but if you can and if your DP is all in, go for it, you will not be loosing money, the property will look so much better. Can you hire someone to do the upgrade, and if you buy new, have the pros install it. Sometimes it is even included in the price.
You don’t need to buy top notch, and choose the look you like. Maybe keep some of the old and just repaint, you can combine. I like some of the open shelves practical and cheaper. I like to what and where I have it, it doesn’t take more than a once a week wipe down. You can use an older even second hand closets for the pantry and to put stuff away.
I took one day to choose my kitchen, they drew it up for me, I just provided the measurements, payed for installation, just one day, the teams are usually very hands on, or get someone local.
I suggest you do research and see what you would like to have, your options, call around, this should also be fun and dedicated to you! You keep the household going.
In our cabin we combined the new and the old and it fits into the space, being an old house. I love the flea market and even got some antique looking shelving. It looks good in my opinion.
You have so many options. It doesn’t have to be absolutely perfect to be functional and looking good. Your DP is handy, I am sure, so some painting shouldn’t be a problem. I know you have done it yourself years ago for SS. It is time for you now.

And by the way, never look at everything that needs to be done at once. Do it step by step room by room. It is overwhelming and paralyzing. You end up doing nothing.

I bet your satisfaction and even health will improve. It is an accomplishment and we all need those.

Than move on to other things, one by one…


P.s. I love to remodel and the smell of fresh paint feels like all old traumas and bad vibes are washed away.
At one point we all need a change and a refresh.

 

[Esme]

And by the way, never look at everything that needs to be done at once. Do it step by step room by room. It is overwhelming and paralyzing. You end up doing nothing.

That is exactly how I feel right now. The difficulty is,

1) It wouldn't improve the value of the house - it has a defective title that means no matter how good it looks it would be hard to sell and wouldn't increase in value very much. Therefore I see money spent on it as dead money - that I could invest in a better house. If OH would agree to sell up and move - which he has avoided doing for some time.

2) The house isn't in my name - so I am not spending a penny on it and OH wouldn't spend money on a kitchen - he's being fleeced financially by Bfh as it is and there is no spare.

I take your point that it makes you feel better, but I feel in limbo right now so I have just lost the motivation to invest or improve this place. Which means I just put up with living in unsatisfactory conditions. I don't want to spend the rest of my life here.

It would be worth doing if it improved the value of the house and if it wasn't half owned by someone else (who would benefit).

I'm thinking of a temporary thing right now - replace the worktops - which OH can pay for. Put the old sink back and hope it fits ok. And buy a countertop mini oven (mine is too low and I am having issues with bending). I am thinking about the larder for the extra cupboard space as that's something you can take with you. Although of course it may not fit somewhere else.

 

[Maya]

A larder is a great idea, you will find use for it even if you move. We always need more space. New countertop does wonders for the kitchen and if that is what you are willing to do, do it. It will change the kitchen completely and adding countertop mini oven is a great idea. It can be so very practical.

I understand the issues you are having with the house, so small improvements really help.
I came to a complete standstill during the lawsuit and with all the tension at home. I felt blocked and couldn’t make any decisions.
I think starting slow is a very good idea, I intend to do the same. Little by little, than maybe move a thing or two and it all becomes more manageable and nicer.

You are not the only one who cannot move forward because of so many unresolved issues. I have a permit missing in our house in the city. I bought the place through an agent and was guaranteed that all papers are in order. The notary checked and all was fine. Than the law changed and a neighbor was trying to sell their place and this issue popped up and for a few years I just wanted to get out and didn’t, couldn’t do much with the space. It didn’t feel like home to me. I felt ripped off.
Once I accepted I will not be moving in the near future and they will probably amend the law in a few years, It SLOWLY became my home again. Whereas before, everything was wrong with it.

We all have challenges in many respects, but even small changes can make a big difference.