Hi,
My friend’s wife sadly passed away in June. On Saturday her ex husband passed away. All of them our friends, my friends, especially the widower and her ex husband. It’s a long story and I loved both guys and the wife they both shared.
What I am trying to say is, it is quite difficult for me at the moment.
Seeing my friend grieve, I realized he needed to talk about his wife and the life they shared. Issues with her children, he has none of his own.
He really wants, feels he should, move on in his life, somehow still in the life they had.
But the reality is, everything has changed. He keeps busy, or at least tries to, he has no family, everyone has passed away, but he has friends.
He went through a very angry phase, he has since calmed down being a very peaceful man.
He likes to talk about things they shared and how great it was.
Through our conversations, I realized that it means a lot to have respect for his life with his wife, but equally he needs to have a future. We just spoke yesterday both shocked from the news we got a day before and it was the first time he suggested we meet up with my husband included.
No one can live in the past.
I would suggest you show interest in his past life, his wife, remember he did not divorce her. I would even suggest you go to the cemetery and bring some flowers or whatever he does, join him. He will feel safe with his memories by your side, knowing you don’t feel threatened by his past.
It’s a new life he seeks, but has his own views and habits, as we second timers or how many timers have. Baggage.
His wife liked to cook and they had a wooden burner in their house where she would make excellent bread. He had to speak about it enthusiastically and then was able to move on with discussion about what we are going to do together. Just an example of how to put them at ease.
I know it’s early days with my friend, but once he gets it out of his system he is ready to move on to something new.
I think your partner is further along. You can test the grounds and simply ask questions and include your comments. I would be honest and open, but still gentle.
You need to find out where he is at and what he wants, what you want. Talk openly, be curious and insert your opinions experiences.
It’s better for both of you to get to know each other. Don’t put it all out, but do open up, especially if you like him a lot. Don’t tiptoe around him. It will eventually make you miserable.
He either is or he isn’t.
With more experience we are more careful and at the same time we want to move forward in relationships.
Hope you find some of this helpful.
Keep well.
My friend’s wife sadly passed away in June. On Saturday her ex husband passed away. All of them our friends, my friends, especially the widower and her ex husband. It’s a long story and I loved both guys and the wife they both shared.
What I am trying to say is, it is quite difficult for me at the moment.
Seeing my friend grieve, I realized he needed to talk about his wife and the life they shared. Issues with her children, he has none of his own.
He really wants, feels he should, move on in his life, somehow still in the life they had.
But the reality is, everything has changed. He keeps busy, or at least tries to, he has no family, everyone has passed away, but he has friends.
He went through a very angry phase, he has since calmed down being a very peaceful man.
He likes to talk about things they shared and how great it was.
Through our conversations, I realized that it means a lot to have respect for his life with his wife, but equally he needs to have a future. We just spoke yesterday both shocked from the news we got a day before and it was the first time he suggested we meet up with my husband included.
No one can live in the past.
I would suggest you show interest in his past life, his wife, remember he did not divorce her. I would even suggest you go to the cemetery and bring some flowers or whatever he does, join him. He will feel safe with his memories by your side, knowing you don’t feel threatened by his past.
It’s a new life he seeks, but has his own views and habits, as we second timers or how many timers have. Baggage.
His wife liked to cook and they had a wooden burner in their house where she would make excellent bread. He had to speak about it enthusiastically and then was able to move on with discussion about what we are going to do together. Just an example of how to put them at ease.
I know it’s early days with my friend, but once he gets it out of his system he is ready to move on to something new.
I think your partner is further along. You can test the grounds and simply ask questions and include your comments. I would be honest and open, but still gentle.
You need to find out where he is at and what he wants, what you want. Talk openly, be curious and insert your opinions experiences.
It’s better for both of you to get to know each other. Don’t put it all out, but do open up, especially if you like him a lot. Don’t tiptoe around him. It will eventually make you miserable.
He either is or he isn’t.
With more experience we are more careful and at the same time we want to move forward in relationships.
Hope you find some of this helpful.
Keep well.
